How to rebuild self-confidence after a toxic relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship is not just the end of a relationship – it is also the beginning of a path back to yourself. After such a relationship, your sense of worth and security can be damaged, and your connection with yourself may weaken. It is an experience that raises questions like

How does a toxic relationship affect self-confidence?

Challenging trust in our feelings

In a toxic relationship, we sometimes hear messages over and over again that challenge the way we experience things. If you've ever been told

Criticism and blame in a toxic relationship

Constant criticism in such a relationship can weaken self-confidence until we believe that perhaps we are ‘not enough.’ This gap between how we see ourselves and how we are judged damages our sense of worthiness and security.

Dependence on external approval

In a toxic relationship, our sense of security often depends solely on the external approval of our partner. This dependency leaves us in a waiting state, where we need approval to feel good about ourselves. This feeling in a toxic relationship leaves us with shaky self-confidence.

Get six tools for restoring self-confidence after a toxic relationship.

1. Strengthening self-worth through internal acceptance

It's crucial to begin with self-awareness and acceptance to rebuild your self-confidence after a toxic relationship. Despite feeling like you can't trust yourself, you'll gradually realize your inner strength. Repeating affirmations like:

• "I deserve love and respect just as I am."

• "I trust my feelings and ability to choose what is right for me."

2. Engaging in 'inner work' is crucial in rebuilding self-confidence after a toxic relationship. This involves connecting to your intuition and understanding your feelings and reactions.

In a toxic relationship, we will begin to doubt our inner feelings. Try asking yourself:

• "How does my body react to a certain decision?"

• "How do I feel about this decision?"

These questions will gradually bring you back to listening to your intuition and help you. A toxic relationship can significantly erode our self-confidence. The constant criticism and blame we endure can lead us to believe that we are 'not enough', creating a gap between our self-perception and the judgment we receive. Again, think you know what is right for you.

3. Documenting small successes – building self-confidence in small steps

Rebuilding self-confidence after a toxic relationship starts with small achievements. Celebrate daily successes, no matter how small, such as standing up for yourself or dealing with a difficulty. Each success is a reminder of your capability and self-trust.

4. Strengthening circles of support – building confidence through a supportive environment

Supportive, non-judgmental circles of support are a strong emotional anchor. Strengthening connections with friends, family, or a support group will restore your confidence in who you are.

5. Writing a personal journal – documenting growth and recovery

Journaling allows you to look at your journey through positive and supportive eyes. Write about your progress, insights, feelings, and even questions you had along the way. Each record is proof that you are making progress and building your self-confidence.

6. Invitation for an initial consultation

The journey to regaining self-confidence after a toxic relationship can be challenging, and professional support can be invaluable. I invite you to an initial consultation to discuss your experiences, understand the challenges, and begin to plan a recovery path tailored to you. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone—I’m here for you.

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Restoring self-confidence after a toxic relationship is a process that allows you to reconnect with yourself, with inner strength, and a sense of worthiness. With tools like strengthening self-acceptance, reconnecting with intuition, journaling, and professional support, you can experience inner confidence and self-love again.

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🪬🪬🧄🧅Sivan Avni - Systemic Process-Oriented Couple Constellation